Title: Supporting Teenagers Psychologically and Emotionally: Expert Advice from Lisa Damour
Introduction:
The author and psychologist Lisa Damour has gained widespread recognition among parents of teenagers. With her practical advice and evidence-based strategies, Damour has become a go-to resource for parents navigating the challenges of raising adolescents. In this article, we delve into Damour’s insights and recommendations for supporting teenagers’ psychological and emotional well-being during the new school year.
The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: A Bestselling Guide:
Lisa Damour has been counseling teenagers and their families for over 25 years, making her an expert in the field of adolescent psychology. Her books, including “Untangled” and “Under Pressure,” have garnered significant acclaim, with her latest release, “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers,” becoming a New York Times bestseller. Damour’s work offers invaluable guidance for parents seeking to understand and connect with their teenage children.
Challenges in Teenage Mental Health:
Damour, herself a mother of two daughters, acknowledges the growing concerns about teenage mental health, particularly among girls. As the mental health crisis among teenagers worsens, Damour emphasizes the importance of addressing their emotional well-being. She reminds parents that mental health is not solely about feeling good but also involves effectively managing emotions.
Expert Advice on Supporting Teenagers:
We had the opportunity to speak with Lisa Damour about how parents can support their teenagers psychologically and emotionally during the new school year. Here are some key insights from our conversation:
1. Identifying Warning Signs:
Damour advises parents to be vigilant for persistent low or angry moods and behaviors that indicate “costly coping” strategies. Such coping mechanisms may provide temporary relief but can have long-term negative consequences. Additionally, parents should be alert to any discussions about hopelessness or self-harm.
2. Nurturing Communication:
Getting teenagers to open up can be challenging. Damour suggests that parents create opportunities for natural conversations by being receptive and willing to listen. Parents should avoid pressuring their teenagers and should understand that they may choose unexpected moments to discuss their concerns.
3. Respect for Individual Coping Styles:
Not all teenagers express their emotions verbally. Some may find solace in physical activities or music. Damour emphasizes the importance of respecting these diverse coping strategies. Providing teenagers with healthy outlets to express their feelings, regardless of the form, is crucial.
4. Navigating Rule Challenges:
Teenagers often push back against parental rules, asserting their newfound independence. Damour advises responding warmly yet firmly, acknowledging that while their independence will come, they still need to abide by household rules. Emphasizing respect and safety can help teenagers understand the reasoning behind rules.
5. Addressing School-Related Anxieties:
When teenagers express anxiety about attending school, Damour highlights the importance of facing fears rather than avoiding them. Avoidance only reinforces anxiety. Parents should determine whether the teenager’s concerns are manageable or truly overwhelming. Encouraging teenagers to engage in school, even for part of the day, can help them overcome their fears.
6. Managing Academic Pressure:
Parents can support teenagers by distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy anxiety. Healthy anxiety helps them recognize threats and prompts them to make positive changes. Unhealthy anxiety, on the other hand, arises without proper cause or surpasses the actual threat level. Parents should have open conversations about realistic consequences and their teenagers’ abilities to address academic concerns.
7. Balancing Stressful Schedules:
Damour emphasizes the importance of allowing teenagers time to recover between bouts of stress. Just like in strength training, adequate rest is necessary for growth. Parents should consider whether their teenagers have enough time for sleep and socializing. If not, adjustments should be made to prioritize their well-being.
8. Navigating Social Distress:
When teenagers face difficulties within friendships, parents should empathize with their pain and provide guidance on handling conflicts. Promoting direct communication, fairness, and polite distancing can help teens manage social distress. Parents should also reassure their teenagers that friendships change over time and that this does not negate the positive aspects of past relationships.
Knowing When to Step Back:
Parents often struggle with deciding when to intervene in their teenagers’ lives. Damour advises parents to adopt the role of a coach, offering guidance and support from the sidelines. It’s essential for teenagers to develop skills and navigate challenges independently. By empowering teenagers to handle complex situations, parents can foster their teenagers’ confidence and readiness for adulthood.
Conclusion:
Lisa Damour’s expertise and advice provide a valuable resource for parents seeking to support their teenagers’ psychological and emotional well-being. By understanding the warning signs, nurturing communication, respecting coping styles, and promoting independence, parents can help their teenagers navigate the challenges of adolescence with confidence and resilience.